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SUNDAY! By god was it Sunday. And I’m not just talking any old Sunday. Nope. Sunday the 15th.
We started the day as we meant to go on, with breakfast. I was quite hungover and decided a nice blue Gatorade might help the situation:
The Gatorade was of such a vivid hue it actually sucked out all the other colours from the surrounding area. However it did little for my hangover. I look like I'm saying "Hey, Gatorade!"
After this I snuck off for a mini adventure and went to Grand Central Station, which was awe-inspiring, before taking the subway to Central Park and lying on a rock, which was pretty chilled out. Later on I bought some shoes and then Magic Pete, Elsie Elspeth and myself went to see Mumford and Sons, Slow Club and Casio Kids in Brooklyn. This was good. Afterwards we hung out in a small Brooklyn bar with the Chess Club boys and Mumfords and ate far too many Cheetos. Top.
New York is generally regarded as a place in America. This is Grand Central Station.
MONDAY. Tom and B went up the Empire State Beedleding (his words not mine!) while the rest of us went to Max Brenner’s chocolate emporium for a cuppa hot chocolate. We then met Moose from CMJ and he explained the music business to us a bit over a slice.
The Museum of Sex was right round the corner from our hotel. This is unrelated but quite amusing.
Next it was time to head to the Delancey where we played that night with We Have Band and Slow Club. Once again a fun night and thanks to everyone who came down and helped make it possible. We finished the night off in our hotel room with some forties and a bottle of Moet kindly bought by Tom’s uncle and aunt (who are both legends).
Je suis un petit wast non?
Tuesday morning we had to get up at 5.30 and head to Austin but that story doesn’t bear thinking about right now, maybe next time…
Love
X
X
X
PS: We play Madame Jojos on Monday x
“You want anything else guy?”
These were the words that confirmed to me that I was buying a slice in a New York pizza parlour, so cuttingly blunt yet beautifully turned were they I almost wept into my cwoffee. Oh those halcyon days, rich with cheese and dripping with caffeine encrusted salt, what I wouldn’t give for a half a pound of butter eh? Marvellous.
We are now in the blistering Texas heat enjoying South by South West festival, but I am going to backtrack a bit and talk about our English invasion in New York…
FRIDAY: Having arrived at JFK late Thursday night, we arose Friday to a city of wonder and the like and sauntered off to a nearby cafe for a traditional American breakfast consisting of bacon, eggs, pancakes and lots of maple syrup. Here it is, feel free to discuss it’s various merits at your leisure over a cup of Darjeeling or two.
I am food.
After this we looked at various sights including the Empire State grill house and some models of the Eiffel Tower. In the evening we met up with We Have Band who were borrowing some equipment from us and then went for a burger. Darren and Henry exchanged knowing glances in the hallway of our hotel for some unknown reason.
I asked what was so funny and was met by the ambassador of Sweden and a cold silence.
SATURDAY: We went on a boat to see the Statute of Library and hung about on Staten Island, where Si found a museum dedicated to himself. We also played pool and talked to the locals.
Later on we took the Subway to downtown Manhattan and played a gig at PIANOS, the gig was good and we had fun, I met some people and we made merry Christmas to all our readers.
Tom went sideways for the day.
There is more to come but frankly the sun is shining and I’m bored of looking at a computer screen, more tomorrow folks! And all because we love you.
That’s right, you.
X
X
X
Greetings curious visitor
I am about to get a socket installed, so that I can plug my hair dryer directly into my wall. This will help me a great deal in the morning, getting ready for a cigarette and a teabag. I usually run an extension reel down the road from Gold Hill Wines on Kingsland Road in order to dry my greasy tangles with soothing wafts of air, but not anymore.
I have been trying to keep in the trim by swallowing the juice of a fruit. Apparently, the juice of orange will cure common skin problems like big cheeks/ lobe stretching/ baggy eyelids/ flaky forehead/ soft feet etc…
Baggy eyelids® (see figure 1) can be cured by dipping your head into a barrel of apple juice four times a day, preferably after eating.
[fig1]*
BEFORE TREATMENT, severely baggish lids.
After approximately thirty-six hours of submersion, we begin to see signs of improvement [fig2]. Although, excessive and prolonged exposure to Coppella [fig3] , can result in cheek exploding (always fatal) side-effects .
[fig 2]*
Less Bagging
[fig 3]*
CURED, but showing signs of fatal "ballooning cheek".
I am completely unsure what the exact meaning of all this is, other than it is completely and utterly based in true fictitious fact.
Our new single is out in the shops on the 9th of March on Chess Club Recordings. “Whole World On Its Head” will be available in the shops on fantastical limited edition 7inch vinyl. A brand new song called “Flames Like Tinder” will be on the B-Side, and you can listen to both songsters on our MySpace page.
You can also pre-order the record from Rough Trade online by clicking here, and they will deliver it to your door!
We are heading out on a tour of the UK in a few weeks to celebrate the release, and for some of the dates we will be joined on the bill by the wonderful Wave Machines and James Yuill…
Poster…


Weds 25th Feb – The Lexington, London
Ticket Price: £7
Ticket Weblink: http://www.kililive.com
Ticket Line Tel: 0871 230 5595
Thurs 26th Feb – Audio, Brighton
See Tickets – 0871 230 5595
http://www.kililive.com
Fri 27th Feb – Assembly, Leamington Spa
Ticket Price: £6
Ticket Weblink: http://www.leamingtonassembly.com
Ticket Line Tel: 01926 523001
Sat 28th Feb – Cockpit 3, Leeds
Box Office Details: 01132455570 and http://www.lunatickets.co.uk
Sun 1st March – King Tuts, Glasgow
Ticket Price:£6
Ticket Weblink: http://www.gigsinscotland.com
Ticket Line Tel:08444999990
I have neglected to mention music I have been listening to, and for this I apologise. I’ll follow with a post containing informational substance very shortly…
xx
Simon




1] eating clothes or washing food?
2] putting out the cats or letting them back innagen?
3] online grumbling or sexy pants?
4] brasso or a stonebaked pasta fish?
5] the hobnobgoblin or the tea friend?
6] beef or beefless?
7] happysalad or deep fried despair?
8] rambo or teleporting?
9] french suicide or biro murder?
10] bit softer or bit crisper?
11] T Total or B Cozz?
12] many moons or definite suspicion?
13] christmas wanker or justin timberland?
14] passionate handshake or wispy nostrils?
15] nobbles or nibbles?
xx
S
Cold isn’t it, eh? Ooh, the weather – cold, I heard. Apparently it’s well cold. Course I remember when cold was cold, but you won’t remember that I shouldn’t wonder, you young whippersnapper you.
Over the last week we have:
Played with White Lies in Tunbridge Wells.
Scintillating light imagery and nice faces, that's how I'd describe White Lies if I were a journalist. Luckily for them I'm not.
Shot the video for the Whole World On Its Head single.
Tom and Henry strut their stuff. Photography courtesy of Tim Cochrane.
Done some more of the post-production on the album in Graeme’s top-secret-album-studio-mega-laboratory.
"Beware wild dogs running loose!" Says the sign. You have been warned.
Been to see Micachu and the Shapes and danced a bit.
I like this picture, it's in our living room.
DJed at Communion in Notting Hill and then walked back in the snow at 2 in the morning.
The start of an epic journey across London in the snow. I secretly enjoyed it, but don't tell the others.
Some things worthy of note:
Kwes’ debut single is out next week! We love it. Pre-order it HERE.
We have more gigs confirmed, check the myspace for details.
Snow is fun, see the rest of my snow diary HERE.
Finally, I think this is pretty cool:
That is all for now, speak to you soon!
Fred x
Yes, that is right. Busy making the sounds that will soon be gracing your ears. Busy recording and practising and practising recording and recording practising. Busy on business like your husband who is actually sleeping with his secretary but claims that he’s on a weekend conference in Bridlington. Busy recording grime tracks under the pseudonym Biz-E. This is all true.
On Friday we travelled to Paris to play our first ever gig in the abroads of Europe. This involved getting up at 4.30am to drive to Folkstone, where we then drove onto the Eurostar and promptly fell asleep. The following experience was hugely surreal and most disconcerting: Imagine falling asleep in your vehicle and then awakening to the sensation of movement, only to find when you open your eyes that you are surrounded by a blank and static scenery which is completely unidentifiable for a good fifteen drowsy seconds. Pair this with a crick in the neck and pins and needles down your left leg and life is confusing enough already. “Ouch” you think to yourself sleepily. Once you have worked out where you are you turn to stretch out your left leg and at the same time realise there are some giggling strangers whispering and taking photos of you. If you hadn’t done so already then it’s at this point you really start to wonder what the hell is going on and indeed if there’s any point to life at all. It then takes a further fifteen seconds to realise that these strangers are actually Wave Machines – also on their way to Paris to play with us at La Fleche d’Or – and that you’re not in Calais yet. Discombobulating stuff.
I read in the paper the other day that drinking 3 cups of coffee could make you hallucinate, we put this to the test in Paris whilst suffering from sleep deprivation but alas it wasn't to be.
After the Eurotunnel debacle the French leg of our journey got off to a smooth start, driving to Paris and finding the venue with relative ease. You may already have looked at the photo above, I certainly have, and I can tell you this was taken after we’d soundchecked but before we’d seen the Eiffel Tower. Here is a photo of the Eiffel Tower, you’ve probably seen it before but I hadn’t, as my family always used to holiday in Bridlington. I don’t know why.
We found this monument thing in Paris, it was quite tall.
After a stagger around the city we returned to the venue to have some dinner. I got the biggest piece of chicken which I think was fair enough considering I gave my drinks tokens to the others, I’m not drinking at the moment due to a bad case of not drinking you see. Some friends from Paris turned up as well as some people from good old Engerland, thank you chaps for coming. Also thanks to all the lovely Parisians who made our night so pleasurable, it was truly a great gig and we will happily come back and play songs for you anytime you ask, as long as you pay us. After the gig we stayed and danced the night away and then returned to our hotel, the incredibly named Mr Bed City, and slumbered away in a room smaller than a portacabin. On the way out of Paris the next day we got lost because the road signs are crap and made it to the chunnel with barely fifteen minutes to spare.
That same night two tired Simons and myself managed to drag ourselves out to Be@Proud Galleries in Camden to see the Wave Machines again. We only did this because we love them and I only mention it to give me the excuse to use this photo:
Tim Wavemachine and his wonderful jumper getting involved with the burlesque show, much to our amusement.
For the next few weeks we will be hiding in a farmhouse in Oxfordshire doing the post-production on our album, which we have finally finished recording. The talented Graeme Stewart is helping us with this, and when I say helping I mean doing it for us. Graeme works with Radiohead and is therefore cool. So far today I have listened to the same song repeatedly for six hours and then another song for a further three, and in all honesty I’m feeling slightly insane. Nothing new there though. Here is Henry playing a guitar owned by Thom Yorke:
Henry wouldn't let go of the guitar for fully forty minutes and in the end we had to bash his head in with a cudgel and then prise it from his lifeless fingers before throwing his body in a ditch near the A40.
…we are playing with White Lies at the Tunbridge Wells Forum and I’ve gotta say well done to the boys for achieving number one slot in the album chart on the first week of their release. Niiice!
That is all for now, we are about to drive home and prepare ourselves for an emotional reunion with the White Lies boys.
Night gorgeous,
Fred x
PS. I’ve never been to Bridlington. New gig dates confirmed and up on the myspace.
Come join us for a jaunty soiree! We’re here, swanning around, working on stuff, and what are you doing? Exactly.
As we haven’t put up a blog for a while I would like to take this moment to say merry new year, in the following paragraphs I will attempt to use a witty turn of phrase to detail exactly what our movements have been since last we imparted such knowledge, however as I am quite tired this might not work
Before Christmas we had a little party, where Tom and myself cooked The Beef for 13 people. This was quite an undertaking and I think both of us now feel like better people for it. Here is some picture:
Me and Tom preparing The Beef.
Over the festive season we took some time to see our families, as I’m sure many of you did. Here is a picture of my little nephew Owen, he made Christmas day worthwhile for me and I now understand why people have kids. Not that I’m planning on having any myself mind… (unless you are a particularly attractive and possibly filthy rich young lady reading this, in which case drop us a line)
Owen gets bored of our company and phones a friend. He aint got no Beef.
We have been recording, more recording, and we have now finished work on the next single! The Whole World On Its Head will be released on Chess Club in March and will be flanked by a brand new b-side called Flames Like Tinder, and will be available on our myspace soon for a sneak preview. We had to lock Tom in a dark room for a week in order to get the b-side done but hopefully the results justify such cruelty.
Tommo gets stuck into some Audio Beef in a darkened room in Dalston.
Aside from all this, we had a good new year, which involved much partying and such lark, and are embracing 2009 with callipers and a paper satchel. Our friend Elisa broke her shnoz though, which wasn’t very good, and she now has a bad case of rhinotillexomania – yowcha!
I bet you do. We are playing La Fleche D’or in Paris on the 23rd, also joined by the fantastic Wave Machines. Care to join us? You’re more than welcome, this will be our first European sojourn and we’re all looking forward to it more than salmon en croûte.
I’d like to say respect to the girls who took the time to do this dance to Daft Punk, nice work. We will be working on a video for our single soon but I imagine it will bear no resemblance to this so that’s a total aside really. I digress.
Hope you’re well, keep the comments coming and see you next time folks.
Much love from us all,
Fred x
Good greetings and salutations, well met sir. Also hello.
I thought I’d start by talking a little about the effort that’s put in to bring this unsavoury publication to your lips, and without further ado I shall do so. The first stage, preparatory to writing, is The Search. We spend up to and including Ten Days searching and researching our subject matter for each instalment, we then spend a further three days meditating upon the precise meaning of all that we have learnt. Once we have fully absorbed the whole essence of the blog, we chant for three minutes and then start typing to the accompaniment of a Cliff Richard record or two. Here Exhibit A shows Tom and Henry sweating over two hot laptops and taking it in turns to type a letter each. This both doubles our over all type rate and pokes fun at The Man simultaneously.
Exhibit A.
Note the concerned concentration on their faces, studious yet scared, fearful of the wrath that may ensue if they fail at their venture.
Exhibit B clearly shows me at my desk using two computers synchronously. This is illegal in some countries, yet under this post war regime it remains commonplace. Blog-sweatshops all over The Dalston are emerging, employing children sometimes as young as eight to work many PCs simultaneously.
Caption? Now you're talking.
Finally, once the words have been typied, the photos have been inserted and the links and whathaveyou have been added, we are ready to go to press. So it is, with a heavy heart, that I hope you read on in jaunty admiration and mild glee.
Here I am again, licking the walls in despair at the humble cow. We’ve been busy, as you may imagine. Recently we have done nothing. This is not strictly true, but we’ve barely left the house. We’ve been banging our heads against the brickwork, sampling the sound it makes, realising it sounds shit and then banging our heads against said masonry again – this time out of sheer frustration. This is not strictly true either, we’re making progress and think we’re about on target to be finished with recording and arranging by the end of December. This puts us on track to go into a month of post-production in January. In other news, here is a ceiling of bones:
Is it Art? Or a Total Lack Of Beef?
The bones signify a Lack Of Beef, which is what you’re experiencing now, a Total Lack Of Beef. This is because we have not yet brought you The Beef, but we will…
Wrap your chops round this:
Fun and dancing somehow merged together to make fundancing I’m sure you’ll agree. Cheers to Jeffo for finding that clip.
My friend Lucien Digell makes fat beats. Below is a photo of some of his vinyl collection. This is only a small fragment of the whole thing, from which he samples a great deal to create “Lazy energy” as he’s obsessed with calling it, always going on about bloody Lazy Energy he is. Anyway, either click his name to sample his aural delights for yourself or check out his rapping on Will Don’t Know by Mysterons, which is one of my favourite tracks ever.
Part of the vinyl stash at Digwell Towers.
Another friend of mine Bastien Keb makes beautiful acoustic stuff on guitar, banjo, keyboard, organ, accordion, eukelele and anything else he fancies. It’s amazing. Click his name and listen to him now. Gypsy Grandad Shuffle is one of my favourites and reminds me a bit of instrumental Tom Waits.
We’ve just been enjoying this video of The Stranglers’ Golden Brown.
See you then,
Fred x
0. Preface
This weeks ‘web-log’ attempts to bring some class to an internet publication that has, thus far, sorely lacked the intellectual vigour becoming of such a format. I trust this new direction will be welcomed by our educated readership, inspire healthy debate and, hopefully, spark the change we’ve long been waiting for.
1. Introduction
Life presents itself first and foremost as a task: the task of maintaining itself, if this task is accomplished, what has been gained is a burden, and there then appears a second task: that of doing something with it so as to ward off boredom, which hovers over every secure life like a bird of prey...
thus the first task is to gain something and the second to become unconscious of what has been gained.
Schopenhauer, “On The Vanity of Existence”, 1851
As we sit in the Russian Club and half-watch softcore pornography, it occurs to me that Schopenhauer might have a point. As insightful as the plot of The Erotic Misadventures of the Invisible Man might be; it ultimately fails to address why, as Schopenhauer puts it “…even sensual pleasure itself consists of a continual striving and ceases as soon as its goal is reached.” As a solution to boredom, the programme thus fails on two counts; morally, in its hedonistic prescription for the titular protagonist, and teleologically, as a form of entertainment (or relief from boredom) in itself.
The man, invisible or not, looks to survive. If he succeeds, he is faced with the tedium of that very survival. The man will thus find new ways to alleviate his boredom. But these misadventures, erotic or not, are ultimately doomed to fail. For both the viewer and the pornstar, the relief is fleeting and finite…
Oh buzzards of jadedness,
casting limp gaze over fair fields.
Oh monotonous falcon,
soaring with tired limbs.
Why flat, osprey?
The raptors hover, ceaselessly, overhead.
It is clear from the chilling and unexpected break into poetry that these fowl must be avoided at all costs. What follows is a report of the authors own attempts to achieve this end; to relieve his boredom over the past week. The report is presented in the first person, for clarity of presentation, and Section 3 presents a brief evaluation of the results.
2. The Misadventures of Subject A
2.1 The Mini Casio
Instead of working, I listen to the demo function of the Casio SA-1. The almost limitless (100) tones of the instrument sound its version of Wham’s Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go.
Inspired, I decide to recreate the new version of White Lies I’m working on using the mini-keyboard. This keeps me amused for over 3 hours. I feel little guilt, knowing that the resulting work will go down in musical history.
Invisible Man – Mini White Casio Lies
2.2 The Internet
The 80s were clearly a less boring time, I scour the internet for further information.
A literal version of Aha’s Take On Me keeps me amused for a further 5 mins.
.
I conclude it’s funny because they sing what’s happening in the video. Later, I question this assumption and drift into a mild state of apathy.
2.3 The Phil
It is Chess Club’s first birthday. We go to Punk and play recorded music for the kids (on compact disc). I suggest Phil Collins and dance. O yes, I dance.
I dance, and drink. And forget…
3. Evaluating the improbable
While direct anaesthetism of the brain yields the successful results shown in 2.3, this is unlikely a long term solution. Ulitmately the Casio SA-1 gave most diversion (for the least shame) and its use should be further encouraged.
Next Week: Intergalactic Dilemas: the moral maze of transporter accidents. The first in an informative series examining the philosophy of the Star Trek universe.
People with ears, read up, I have it all. Here is the post du jour, I have the latest buzzard’s beating wings in my fingertips and I, Bobby Supremo, am here to give you The Beef.
Certain types have been clamouring for attention, information, and beef. And not necessarily in that order. Some people just want to know “what’s The Beef?” The answer is, of course, our forthcoming album, working title “The Beef”. There are inherent problems working with beef, for one it is highly addictive and, some would say, contagious. In a recent current affairs round-up it was discovered that The Beef won nine times out of ten. What this means we do not know. What we do know is that we’ve started recording said beef in the hope that we can unleash it upon you early next year – Unleash The Beef. (Unleash The Beef will also be the first single). So far I have put down various drum-tracks and I’m now chilling out whilst the other boys layer up the remaining sounds, in a process that is known as “layering”. Once the initial tracking process is complete we shall repeat steps 1 and 2 with the remainder of the songs, before blending them with the aid of our ears and a possible third party (more on that at a later date…).
It has been mooted that some of you would like to know a little about how we do what we do, and possibly why, so I’m going to try to explain it to you a bit. Firstly our lives are made simultaneously easier and harder by having three singer/songwriters in the band. Theoretically easier because the workload is spread thinner; generally more difficult because a) there are more creative voices arguing and b) there is more of a tendency towards laziness. This doesn’t stop us finishing songs though. God no.
The way we work depends on the songwriter; often Tom will take beats I’ve recorded, as well as those of his own creation, and chop them up and use these as the rhythmic basis for the songs, which he will then write and record the rest of the initial parts for; Henry will usually come up with a beat of his own and base a song around it, before coming to me and asking me to give him my take on its groove and then going back and reworking and tweaking the rest of the parts some more; finally Si will either come up with his own groove and once the song’s taking shape will get me to re-play it from his original recording or he’ll write a song then get me to play something abstract around a theme which he will then chop up, often creating something that I would never have expected. This is obviously a very drum-centric way of looking at things but this is meat.
The final stage is getting in the studio and working out how to play the damn things, and this is usually the bit where the song gets a complete overhaul, a restructure and a shiny lick of paint. Our insistence on triggering all samples live means there’s some working out of sample sharing between members, also keys and bass parts are handed out, harmonies decided upon, final sprinkles added and then lots of mistakes made trying to hit the nail on the buzzard.

That is about it, in a way. We haven’t always worked like this but it seems to be how it’s happening for us at the moment. There are always later tweaking stages after a song’s first live outing and sometimes songs get a few outings and then canned, or never make it out in the first place, but that’s The Beef. Mmm.. Firm and Meaty.
Wave Machines‘ single launch party with Micachu and the Shapes was tantamount to beef. We’ve boshed on about both these bands a lot but needless to say it was a fantastic gig, the combination of the Royal Albert for the venue and the sound being spot on made this gig a bit spesh.
Last Sunday I went to Communion at Notting Hill Arts Club, where chanced upon The Correspondents. Headlining the days entertainment and billed with the the tag-line “1930’s hiphop” I’ll admit I was intrigued but prepared to be disappointed. This was not to be the case however, as a fantastically dressed Mr Bruce strutted on stage to sing, rap and dance, all incredibly well, while DJ Chuckles sent us a barrage of slick swing-beats blended with hiphop and drum’n'bass. I’ve never seen the Communion crowd go so wild, but beef stock can do that to you. The Correspondents are the perfect dance music, DJ Chuckles’ beats putting me in mind of Jurassic 5, DJ Shadow and Mr Scruff and Mr Bruce’s rapping, dancing and pure charm putting everyone in a good mood.
We are DJing at Smash and Grab this Thursday, joining us and the Chess Club boys on the turntables will be White Lies DJs. This will be a beef-stricken old-widow worth going to. Come.

We are playing with We Have Band next Wednesday at The Old Blue Last in Shoreditch. It is the launch party for their 50 Bones single “OH” which we have been dancing the sticky pea fandango to. Come down for raw beef.

If I could spell “sayonara” I would use it as my closing line, if I could sell clothes pegs you’d put them on your clothes line.
As it is I’ll just say goodbye.
Sincerely,
Bobby Supremo.
x